Little White Riding Hood
by Keaira Rogue
Summary: A screwed up version of little red riding hood with the LOTR characters. Please review.


**Okay soo….. this is a story..:pauses to hit self in head (duh):…anywho I wrote it on the bus on the way home from school, it took about 20 mins. But man was it a bumpy ride, which may explain why you can barely read the original copy.**

**Yup so disclaimer: I doesn't own the LOTR :cries: however the Fan of Doom is entirely mine or a least mostly, so don't kill me. :huddles in corner:**

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Narrator: Once upon a time there was an Elf.

Legolas: You should say a very pretty Elf who loves to skip and eat muffins.

Narrator: Shut up Legolas, so I can continue!

Legolas: Use my adjustments!

Narrator: FINE! Once upon a time there was a very pretty, annoying, elf named Legolas, who liked to skip and eat muffins.

(Legolas steams at being called annoying, but is ignored)

Narrator: One day Legolas's roommate, Aragorn, told him their friend Gandalf was sick and that he had made muffins for him. Legolas happily volunteered to skip through Fangorn Forest to deliver them.

Legolas: I would do no such thing!

Aragorn: You bet you wouldn't because I don't cook!

Gandalf: I am not sick and if I were I would think you would care enough to bring me some muffins!

Narrator: Will the three of you shut up :pulls out Fan of Doom:

(Legolas, Aragorn, and Gandalf all very quietly nod their heads)

Narrator: So Legolas put on his white cape and skipped off into the forest with a basket of muffins. Half way through he sat down to take a break. Hiding behind a tree was a Ring Wraith (here after known as RW, cause the names too long) watched him. He listened as the Elf told the flowers where he was going. He was just about to reach out and swing his sword to cut off Legolas's head (so he could steal the basket of muffins) when an Ent sat on him.

RW: Hey! That's not fair! I want muffins!

Ent: It's not my fault. Blame the author.

RW: That would be the Narrator, right?

Ent: Yup.

Legolas: Hey! Why do they get to talk if we don't!

Narrator: Because your yapping away and I haven't been able to tell them all to shut up.

Legolas: Oh (silently agrees with the RW that this is not fair)

Narrator: As I was saying, Legolas went skipping off through the rest of the forest. When he came upon Gandalf's cabin he paused.

Legolas: Why would he pa….:Narrator puts down pen and picks up Fan of Doom:…oh never mind.

Narrator: Then Legolas entered the cabin.

Gandalf: He had better knock!

Narrator: The Legolas knocked on the cabin door.

"Come in," called a voice from within the cabin.

Legolas: It strikes me as odd that he wouldn't ask who it was.

Aragorn: I quite agree.

Gandalf: Of course I would ask who it was, I'm not stupid.

Narrator: Who do you think is telling this story!

Legolas: Well sorrrrry, but if you're gonna tell the story, tell it right!

Narrator: Just shut up and listen.

Legolas: Fine!

Narrator: Ahem. Legolas knocked on the cabin door.

"Who is it," called a voice from with-in.

"It is I, your friend Legolas! I have brought you muffins," Legolas sang out.

"Ooooh muffins, do bring them in!" shouted the voice.

Legolas entered the cabin and set the muffins on the table. Then he went to the side of the bed and stared down at its occupant.

"Oh Gandy how black you are," he commented.

Gandalf: Now wait one minute!

Narrator: What now?

Gandalf: Gandy!

Narrator: So?

Gandalf: I don't think so!

Narrator: And why not?

Gandalf: It's not proper.

Narrator: Think about who's saying it.

Gandalf: Oh, good point, but still…..Gandy.

Narrator: Oh shut up and go play tic tac toe with Sarauman.

Gandalf: Can I cheat?

Narrator: Why the bloody hell should I care!

Gandalf: I haven't a clue :walks away:

Narrator: Anywho, back to the story.

"Oh Gandy how black you are," Legalas commented.

"I'm sick, you idiot," said the occupant.

"Oh Gandy what a big mouth you have," Legalas commented.

"The better to eat muffins with, now give me the muffins," the occupant stood revealing itself as the RW.

Legalas jumped back as the RW came running at him shouting about muffins.

Suddenly Gandalf entered the cabin followed by Froto, shouting in horror Froto hid behind Gandalf. Gandalf looked at the RW for a moment.

"I thought you were dead," he said after a moment.

The RW looked up in horror, "Oh no! You're right, I am dead."

And with that the RW disappeared, never to trouble the creatures of Middle Earth again. Happily Legalas handed Gandalf the muffins and invited him and Froto to drop by anytime, then he went skipping off through Fangorn Forest.

THE END

Aragorn: How come I have such a small part?

Narrator: Shut up the story is over :pulls out Fan of Doom and smacks all the characters on the head:

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**That's it, hope ya liked it, please review.**

**~Ke**


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